Why Dirty MF?

Throughout our lives we get nick names and normally we don't have a say as to what they are. They come from our actions, adventures, and goofy things we do when around friends and family. So, here is how I became Dirty Mother F…r. On my 5th trail with LWH3 I was co-haring. I tell you I did such an amazing job, from what I remember almost 20 years ago. LWH3 does not name its members until after they have completed 5 trails and hared (co-hared) one trail. I wanted to be part of this group so bad that I did everything I could as fast as I could to get my name and be one of you crazy wankers! Unfortunately my sponsor “Blazing Saddles” was super sick this day and not able to attend. I mean she was so sick that she could have been on her death bed, maybe, or maybe not.

It was now up to 20 strangers to name me without any intel on who I was and what I do with my life. I was asked 6-9 questions before they made me leave the group so they could talk amongst themselves! Some questions were weird, for example “do you fold, bunch, or pinecone,” or “what exited did I take to get here?” I mean I am on a little island, there are no exits that don’t have fences with sharp razor wire and at least 6-9 guards with large guns. Other questions were a little more risky or risque! These may have been where I got into the most trouble. One question in particular was, “what is your most embarrassing sexual moment?” I had to think long and hard about this one. I was 27 years young, in the military for 8 years, and traveled so many places (4 states and 1 country LOL). I was sweating bad as they stared me down. Then it came to me.

I was 17 or 18 living at home. I was sitting in the living room of our apartment when I had found these things called a VHS tape (yes I am that old), and these tapes had several X’s on them, 3 to be exact. Being so innocent at the time I didn’t know what it was about. Well I had some time on my hands and thought I should investigate what it was about. So the tape goes into what is called a VCR and I had to hit play on the VCR, no remote control. After about 60 seconds I had to wipe the condensation off my glasses. Then another 90 seconds later I noticed my pants were getting too tight. What is this sensation! Well I finally figured out that if I just unbutton my pants that I was more comfortable. Well after about 260 mins I was pretty relaxed!

So relaxed I had made a mess of things. As I started to clean everything up I was still watching the craziness on the TV when all of a sudden I hear keys inter the door knob. I was not anywhere near the VCR to stop it, and I had things long hard thing poking out of my pants. Time slowed down. I quickly got myself tucked into my pants as I ran towards the TV. Now I hear the door knob turning. My heart is going faster than it did minutes earlier. I am sweating again. The fear has entered my mind as it is a race to get to the TV before someone walks through the front door. As the door opens I make it to the TV and hit the power button!

What happens next is not fun, not funny, but can be considered dangerous! Some have even had to attend professional theory to cope with what is about to happen! You may need to find some type of theory because that is all I am going to say about this tail on this platform. If you want to know what happens and how it plays into my naming you will have to meet me in person and ask me to finish this tragic story. Don’t worry no one was hurt, and not law was broken from this event.